That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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