Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
