Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
