i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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