so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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