My hand turned me down
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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