Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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