found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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