I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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