fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
