She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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