He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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