I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
time to smoke my breakfast
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
