She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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