Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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