We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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