I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize