i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
