i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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