I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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