Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
