did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have tasted many bathrooms
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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