I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
