So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
