Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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