it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
