After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
True college students do jello shots in the library
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize