Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
