Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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