where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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