3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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