i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
