ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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