You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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