I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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