I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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