So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
