On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
