How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
