You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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