How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
