It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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