I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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