: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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