just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
