Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
