I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
