I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
