YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
