what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
