Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Randomize
