At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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