You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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