I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
