she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
