Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I would fuck him just for his dog
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
