just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
