Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
