please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
