pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
