i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
