i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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