Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
