An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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