Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
