There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
