can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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