I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
